Long distance relationships can be hard. They require work, communication and commitment. So in many ways, there are no different to any other relationship.
However, in addition to regular relationship needs, they pose a unique set of challenges too. It’s hard to hug someone when they’ve had a bad day, an argument can escalate because body language and tone is hard to read via text.
And above all, it’s just really hard to be away from the person that you want to spend your life with.
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably already know that my girlfriend and I have been doing long distance now for almost a year. (Lets be honest, do you know a lesbian how hasn’t been in at least one long distance relationship? Lesbian long distance relationships are a stereotype for a reason. We either live 1000 miles apart or U-Haul and move in together on the 2nd date!)
In the last year I’ve learned a lot about being in a long distance relationship. And I’ve picked up some tips along the way on ways to make it easier.
I also asked on my Instagram stories before we started long distance, for any hints or tips from others who have done it before.
So this blog is my guide for surviving and thriving in a long distance relationship. Whether it’s a lesbian long distance relationship or any other combination of two (or more) humans who wished they lived closer.
Find Your Love Language
Maybe you’ve already done the test, but if you haven’t I would highly recommend finding out your and your partners love language. It’s a really quick and easy way to get an insight into the best ways that you can support them and show your love. This blog is a list of all the things you can do, but knowing which ones will mean the most to your partner can make all the difference.
Link to the love language test here
Communicate Communicate Communicate
Communication is key in every relationship, but even more so in a long distance one. When you’re together, you can read body language, and sense someone’s emotions. But a long distance relationship requires you to communicate these things, so your partner knows how you’re feeling and can support you accordingly.
Send Small Gifts
This comes back to the love language test, and how important gifts are for you and your partner. However, it doesn’t have to be big-ticket items. Simply sending a small letter or a gift in the mail as a surprise can really brighten up someone’s day. And it’s a great way to show that you are thinking of them.
Top gifts we’ve given and received this year include a retro Sega mega drive, spontaneous flower deliveries and many many Deliveroo orders when the other person had a long day at work and didn’t want to cook dinner.
Always Have Your Next Trip Planned.
Saying goodbye is the worst. There is no two ways about it. And, annoyingly it doesn’t seem to get easier the more you do it. However, the best way to tackle a hard goodbye is knowing when the next hello will be. Have dates planned for when you can next meet, and even if that feels like an eternity away, at least you can count down together.
Zoom
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and you haven’t heard of Zoom, catch up. (Pun intended). Zoom is like Skype, only way better.
The connection is great, and it’s easy and free to use. Phone calls and texts are great, but speaking to each other face-to-face on video call can make all the difference.
Have Date Nights
Just because you live in different places, doesn’t mean you can’t still have date night together. You just have to get creative. One of my favourite things to do, is to agree on the type of food we are going to make and cook it to eat at the same time together. Then, we pick a movie and hit play at the same time.
Share A Netflix Series
Just like on date night, we have mastered the art of pressing play on Netflix together at the same time. It takes some work and skipping back and forward, but once you nail it, you can enjoy your favourite Netflix series and binge together.
Top tip, watch together on Zoom, and have one person play the audio and one person on mute, so you’re both hearing everything at the same time.
Play Games Together
We live in the age of technology, and there is an app for everything. So naturally there is an app for long-distance relationships. Well, not one specific one but I’m talking about playing games together.
Find a game you both love, that you can play against each other no matter where you are in the world. When we are together we are scrabble geeks, and so Words With Friends is our favourite.
Meet In New Places
Living in separate countries can have some silver linings. I know that can be hard to see sometimes, but a big one for me is the ability to travel to new places.
I would never have explored Budapest as much as I did this year, had my partner not been living there. And in addition to visiting where each other’s lives, we’ve met in so many other countries too.
Use the Skyscanner “everywhere” search, to look up where both of you can travel to. Then pick a common destination and use your long distance relationship as an excuse for a weekend getaway.
This year we’ve explored Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, Marrakech, Tangier, Stockholm and Hamburg.
And that’s it! My top tips for how to survive and thrive in a long distance relationship.
Let me know on my social media if you have any more tips!
