Pride month is over, homophobia is not.
The celebration of love and acceptance in stores, on the street and in my social media feeds fill my heart with joy and make me extra proud to be a queer woman. And for a whole month every year the world feels a little friendlier and a lot more colourful.
But it’s so much more than that.
It’s a reminder of how far the LGBTQ+ community has come, and how far it still has to go.
And that last point leads me to the reason for this blog.
We still have a long way to go.
Yesterday I posted on my IG story that I was bored of being commented on in the street just because I choose to hold hands with a girl. (I was angry and it was impulsive or it would’ve been more elegantly written and I would’ve said “woman”.)
The overwhelming response I got from friends was of
- Anger
- Shock that homophobia is something that still happens.
I’ll be honest, until it was me it was happening to, I didn’t realise either. But it does.
Homophobia can be subtle (often not) and sometimes I walk away confused as to whether I should be offended or not.
But the relentless nature of comments from strangers while I’m just trying to go about my life gets pretty draining. Believe it or not, being gay doesn’t define who I am as a human.
And the subtlety of homophobic behaviour means that many well meaning & accepting people don’t even know it happens.
And so, despite being mildly terrified, I’m biting the bullet and hitting “publish” on this list of reasons why the job is not yet done. Why Pride month and protests, and being visible, and education, and talking to people, and sharing stories are all still essential.
(Please also keep in mind that I am a white, cis, able bodied human living in a progressive country. I am so aware that I could have it a lot worse.)
We Still Have A Long Way To Go…
… Because when I’m on a first date,
I want to worry about what to wear or awkwardly embarrassing myself, not who’s watching us holding hands and what they might shout at us from across the street.
… Because when I’m eating lunch with a girl on a park bench,
I don’t want to be interrupted by a guy asking to take my picture.
… Because when I’m waiting to cross the street,
I don’t need to be told by a stranger that he “doesn’t care if I’m gay or whatever” but I should know that I’m still very beautiful.
… Because when I go to kiss the cute girl I’m with at pride,
I don’t want her to pull away because two guys are standing behind me waiting to watch.
… Because after a stressful day at work,
I want a hug that isn’t accompanied by a wolf whistle from passers-by.
… Because when I stand in the street deciding where to go for dinner,
I don’t appreciate “KISS, KISS, KISS” being chanted at me by a group of grown men.
… Because I wish our decision on where to eat that dinner,
wasn’t based on how to get off the street the quickest.
… Because when I’m walking to the supermarket,
I don’t need to be informed by a passer-by that I’m “too pretty to be gay”.
… Because when I’m waiting to collect my bag at the airport,
I don’t want to hear from a group of lads, that the girl on the plane must be a “big lesbo” because she didn’t give them her number.
… Because even though none of these events seem that major,
Everything I’ve said has happened to me in the space of 3 months, and it gets really fucking exhausting.
I’ll finish with a gentle reminder to be kind to other humans.
And if you take anything from this, please do me a favour. If you see or hear homophobia happening, stand up to it and call it out.
It will save us some energy.
We need to conserve it for the next time.
