Coming Out is not a single moment in time.

Today is National Coming Out Day, but coming out isn’t something that can be marked on a calendar, written in a diary or celebrated as an anniversary. Coming Out is a continuous process, unlikely to have an end date any time soon.

Coming Out is…

every time you begin a new job, make a new friend or meet an old schoolmate.

updating a relative on your relationship status at a family gathering.

the first time you tell your best friend or your parents.

the first post on social media or the first time you come out to yourself, because yes, that’s a thing.

every time you hesitate, even if just for a moment, before correcting a pronoun.

Sometimes coming out is terrifying, sometimes it’s liberating, sometimes it happens so subtly it’s almost impossible to notice. But for as long as that moment of hesitation exists, or there’s a split second longer-than-normal pause before conversation resumes, as if nothing’s changed, it’s happening.

It’s a process shared by so many, and yet entirely unique to each individual.

In the past, moments would arise where I was faced with the decision between speaking my truth or staying silent. I would choose option two; hoping that one day in the future things would be different.

And now, here I am, on national coming out day, saying my process isn’t over, it may never be, but it has begun.

I have here, I am out and proud and I am a visible lesbian.

To anyone who is two-year-ago me;

Take your time, don’t force it and do what feels right in yourself.

To my fellow humans who have already embraced the coming out process, I hope there is a future ahead for all of us when those moments of hesitation and awkward silence no longer exist.

And to everyone on the receiving end of a coming out and learning something about someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity for the first time; PLEASE be kind, be supportive and remember that