Did you know LGBT travel problems were a thing? If you answered yes, there’s a good chance you’re also LGBTQ+ yourself. Because when I speak to straight friends, family or colleagues there are many elements of the LGBT travel experience they’d never considered before I mentioned it. And trust me… there’s a lot to consider.
I caveat this article by highlighting that I am an LGBT traveller, but I am also white, straight-passing, degree educated and able bodied. I have privilege in abundance.
What do you worry about when you travel? Forgetting your passport? Missing a flight?
The 1st thing I check is the weather.The 2nd thing I check is “LGBTQ safety in…[Enter Destination Here].”
It’s become a habit and a default.
I solo travelled for years. It’s only recently, as I’ve started travelling with a partner, that I realise how many ways being LGBTQ impacts travel plans.
Sometimes queer travellers require significant extra precautions or considerations. And sometimes, it’s a fleeting thought or moment, that passes barely noticeable among an exciting day of adventure. But nevertheless it happens. And it consumes our energy, thinking about things that straight travellers may never contemplate.
The more I think about it, the more things that I realise happen on a daily basis when travelling as an LGBTQ couple. Things that I never thought about when travelling solo as a cis, feminine presenting, straight-passing woman.
So I thought I’d share some LGBT travel problems in a blog.
To be honest, considering The Jenna Way is a Travel & LGBT blog, it’s a surprise that I haven’t written about the intersection of my two worlds sooner. Perhaps because this was one of the most challenging blogs I’ve written so far.
I’m writing this to raise awareness and to help others understand that not all travel experiences are created equal.
For the straight people and allies reading – think of what you could do to lessen the burden of LGBT travel problems. I’ve included some tips on how to be an LGBT ally to get you started. And for my fellow queer travellers, know that you are not alone (there’s some LGBT travel tips in there for you too).
LGBT Travel Problems
CHOOSING LGBT FRIENDLY DESTINATIONS
Deciding where to travel is already challenging enough. But factoring in where I will be safe as an LGBT traveller adds to the complication.
1. Learning the Laws & Protections
Are we going to be legally protected, or worse prosecuted, for being openly LGBTQ? Many countries do not afford full (or even any) legal protections against discrimination. In August 2019:
- Just 27% of countries offer protections against anti-LGBT discrimination.
- 23% of countries criminalise homosexual activity.
- Only 11% of countries would permit me to get married. (talk about adding complications to a destination wedding!)
Knowing your rights and legal status of each country you visit is tiresome and an additional burden on LGBT travellers.
LGBT Travel Tip: Equaldex is the best & most up to date source for checking your legal rights & protections in each country.
2. Answering the morality question…
Should LGBT Travellers visit non-LGBT friendly destinations?
There are 193 countries in the world. Should the fact that I’m a lesbian determine how many of them it’s ‘moral’ for me to see?
- On one hand, I ask why my version of the world should be limited to only seeing the places where I’m protected or recognised?
- And on the other hand, I ask why my tourist money should fund a country where I am not welcome and am possibly unsafe?
That’s the simplified version of the question. There’s more to it. People are not their government, tourist dollars support local communities, the Brunei hotel boycott made an impact, LGBT people exist in every country, visibility is important… the list goes on.
Be an Ally: Don’t ask this question. The decision of whether or not to travel to an LGBT friendly destination is that of the individual and the individual alone. This isn’t a topic you should voice an opinion on.
3. Investigating the reality of the culture.
I think most of us can agree, that a government does not always represent the views of the country. And therefore, neither does all it’s laws. So after researching what laws may or may not protect LGBT travellers, we’re left wondering:
- Is this a country that has legalised same-sex marriage and criminalised discrimination, but still holds homophobic cultural views?
- Or is this a country that has no legal protections, but where I’m perfectly safe to walk hand-in-hand with my girlfriend without risk of being verbally or physically attacked.
Laws are one thing, but the social situation in a country is entirely another. And that’s harder to Google.
4. Staying in the city or going rural.
Choosing an LGBT friendly destination isn’t as simple as searching the laws, or even the culture of a country. Because to assume an entire country has the same views is a wide generalisation.
We must consider the variety of views that exist across different regions, states or cities and add that to our overall calculations too.
5. LGBT Travel Experiences Are Unique.
Fun fact; not all LGBT humans have the same experiences. Whaaaat! Shocking, I know. But this means that even after considering all of the above, you can never be fully confident in picking an LGBT travel destination.
When you Google “LGBT safety + [destination]”, there is a higher possibility of getting a negative story than a positive one. Because people rarely talk about the time they held hands with their partner and “weren’t “attacked.
And even in a ‘progressive’ country like the UK, in a cosmopolitan city such as London, lesbians were attacked purely for existing on a bus.
At the end of the day, you can do as much research as possible, but there will always be the doubt in the back of your mind on whether you’ve done enough. Or whether you will be the next headline horror story that shifts the perception of your chosen destination.
LGBT Travel Tip: I often rely on travel forums such as Girls Love Travel (Pride) to read about other queer travel experience in destinations when I’m deciding where to go.
GETTING THERE
Before we even arrive at our destination, the fears & uncertainty associated with LGBT travel can kick in.
6. Finding A Flight.
Similar to the points made around choosing a destination. Some LGBT travellers will specifically opt for flights with transfers though airports where there is no risk or fear of arrest or invasive questioning.
I recently read a Facebook post of a trans woman who was looking for flights that avoided transferring through the Middle East because her passport stated that she was male, and she feared she may be detained or arrested as a result.
7. Booking The Flight.
Increasingly, states and countries are recognising non-binary identities in legal documents such as passports and drivers licenses. (Allowing an ‘X’ gender marker instead of ‘M’ or ‘F’). This is great news.. but when next to no airlines allow anything other than ‘Male’ or ‘female’ in their booking forms, LGBT travellers are faced with further complications.
(TravelPort, the technology that powers 480 airline booking systems, introduced the option of ‘X’ gender in June 2019. However, so far only a handful of airlines have updated their websites to match.)
8. Airport Security Body Scanners.
Many systems require TSA agents to assume the biology of the person passing through the body scanner. Naturally, this can cause upset or embarrassment for many LGBT people who may be unnecessarily flagged for additional checks or questioning.
Be an Ally: If you work (or know someone that works) in airport security or with body scanners, discreetly ask if you’re unsure, instead of assuming someone’s sex or gender. And always ask before assigning them to a male or female officer if a body pat-down is necessary.
9. Passing Through Border Patrol.
Presenting in a way that does not reflect the name or gender on your legal documents can cause difficulties at border security for trans or gender nonconforming travellers. This a topic I can’t speak directly to. But I strongly encourage you to check out Lindsay Cale’s incredible blog. She covers some of the challenges of gender non conforming travel here.
10. Being On A Plane (or train… or bus…)
I actually half-written this blog when the homophobic KLM customer service agent reconfirmed the fears I was trying to tell myself were irrational. If you missed it, an incompetent (and homophobic) KLM twitter staff stated that if a same-sex couple on a plane were holding hands, they may be asked to stop should this make other passengers feel uncomfortable.
Long-haul travel is tiresome enough, without the additional stress of worrying about who may say something aggressive or upsetting while I’m flying in a metal box at 35,000ft with nowhere to escape it.
CHECKING IN
We’ve finally made it to our destination. But the worries don’t stop here, it’s time to check into our hotel.
11. Requesting A Double Bed.
There is nothing worse than arriving at your hotel on the first day of your trip to be questioned by the check-in desk over whether you booked the right bed or not.
Some LGBT travellers have shared their stories with me of being explicitly told they booked incorrectly, others experience the more subtle, but no less draining, side-eye and awkward silence.
No, this doesn’t happen every time. But just like boarding the plane, it’s the uncertainty as you approach the desk of whether “this may or may not be the time you have to face homophobia” that gets really tiring.
12. Choosing A Chain vs Local Hotel.
I am all for supporting unique, local and boutique hotels. But in certain destinations, we have actively chosen to book a larger chain resort over independent places, to increase our chances of a positive check-in experience.
Particularly in less LGBT friendly destinations, such as Morocco, where we booked the Hilton in Tangier and a foreign owned (more expensive) Riad, so that we could check-in without (or at least with less) fear of discrimination and questioning.
13. Coming Out To Airbnb Hosts
It’s no secret, I am a massive fan of Airbnb. I speak about it in almost every blog.
A unique LGBT travel problem requires couples to decide whether or not they will disclose their relationship to the host, and risk being discriminated against. Or spend their trip pretending not to be a couple at all.
Personally, I’d rather mention it in the booking request & face a rejection, than be accepted in a home where I won’t be welcome.
Proof of how much this impacts travel decisions is found in our Barcelona booking experience. We spent hours scrolling options in various parts of the city, not coming to any decision. And then we saw one host who was displaying a pride flag in his thumbnail with #HostWithPride and we booked within five minutes.
The confidence that we could exist comfortably and authentically was worth more than any free breakfasts, rooftop pools or balconies would ever be.
Be an Ally: If you’re an Airbnb host, consider adding an explicit statement that lets LGBT travellers know that they are welcome.
EXISTING ABROAD
A lot of the following considerations for LGBT travellers happen whether we’re at home or abroad. But they still impact our travel experiences, with the added uncertainty of being in an unfamiliar place if something goes wrong.
14. Holding hands in public
Something as simple as holding hands, may not even cross the mind of a straight couple walking down the street. But LGBT travellers have a decision to make. Do so and risk verbal or physical abuse, or to spend our travels acting like friends instead of partners.
15. Filtering Our Appearance.
I have the blessing (and curse) of lesbian invisibility, meaning my sexuality isn’t normally obvious unless I say something. But that isn’t the case for all lesbian travellers (or LGBT people).
Coming out or staying in the closet is a conundrum we face day in, day out. But when we’re abroad the sense of risk is often heightened. And so, we may hide our true selves for the greater good of feeling safe(r). This could be covering tattoos, packing a more conservative (or less rainbow-filled) wardrobe or lying to people you meet about your relationships.
16. Coming Out To Fellow Travellers.
It’s been a while since I stayed in a hostel now. But for a few years I was constantly faced with the decision to come out or lie when making small talk in hostels.
Inevitably (after ‘where are you from?’ and ‘how long are you staying?’) the question of home comes up. And very quickly we’re forced to assess this new human, decide if they seem like a decent person and work out if you want to lie to them or risk sleeping in a room where you no longer feel safe. The joys.
Be an Ally: Let your new hostel friends know that you’re a safe space & ally by asking gender neutral questions like “do you have a partner?” or “what’s their name?”
17. Bars and nightclubs.
Part of travelling, at least for some people, is exploring the nightlife of new destinations. As an LGBT traveller, we are faced with the decision of whether to explore queer spaces, or the popular bars and clubs of the city.
- On one hand queer spaces are more likely to be welcoming and accepting. There is a lower chance of discrimination and PDA with our partners (or holiday fling) won’t put us in danger.
- But on the other hand, why should we be denied the chance to experience the hottest spots in the city just because of who we want to dance with?
18. Resisting A Hug When It Gets Hard.
Travel can be tiring, and it’s certainly not all plain sailing. It’s even more tiring when you’re delayed in the airport or lost somewhere and you can’t reach out for a hug or kiss from your travel buddy. It’s such a natural reaction in times of struggle. But as lesbian travellers, we filter our PDA to almost nothing to avoid uncomfortable looks or comments.
More LGBT Travel Experiences…
I do my best to educate myself on all LGBTQ+ experiences, however there are likely things that I’ve missed. There are compounded discrimination and challenges that apply to BAME, disabled or gender nonconforming LGBT travellers.
To learn about LGBT travel experiences from the people who lived them first hand, here are some excellent resources:
- A gender nonconforming travel experience.
- LGBT travel with kids
- Gendered airport body scanner problems
- More thoughts on visiting non-LGBT friendly countries
There you have it… 18 LGBT travel problems straight people don’t have. Or at least, 18 that I know of or have experienced.
If you’ve got any other things that should be included that I’ve missed, I’d love to hear about it.
You can find me @TheJennaWay on Instagram or drop a comment below.
